How to Explain Where Babies Come From to Young Children

You may not be sure how to talk with your child about his or her body. You may be hesitant to even bring up the subject. You may even wonder if you should wait until it is taught in school. 

You may also question whether holding back is the answer. But kids are kids. They’re going to ask questions. What are you supposed to say when your curious young child asks: “Mom, dad, where do babies come from?” 

“If you can relate to these concerns, you’re not alone,” says Karen Wilson, MD, a pediatrician at Scripps Clinic Carmel Valley, who speaks to many families about how to broach the subject of the birds and the bees or human reproduction with their children.

Remember, curiosity is normal and healthy. Children care about their world and want to learn. As parents or caregivers, we should support this curiosity. We can help by giving clear answers that are easy to understand and right for their age.

“With a few basic guidelines, you’ll find it is easier than you may have thought to discuss these topics,” Dr. Wilson says. “Moreover, you’re establishing a foundation for open, honest communication with your kids in the years ahead.” 

When talking to young kids about sensitive topics, consider their age and developmental stage. You want to make sure the explanation is suitable and clear. Children at different ages will understand different amounts of information. 

Dr. Wilson recommends starting teaching kids about their bodies at age four or five. “Many parents are startled to learn that these conversations should begin at such a young age. However, the earlier you start the easier it will be.” 

Research shows children at this age have a very healthy curiosity about how their bodies work. This may be the best time to start the discussion. 

“This is a conversation every family should have at home,” Dr. Wilson explains. “Don’t wait for your children to learn it in school or from their friends. By the time sexual education is covered in school, most kids have already heard plenty of misinformation in the playground.” 

“By starting the conversation early at home, not only will you be setting them straight from the start, but you’ll also teach your kids to come to you when they have questions or want more information,” she says. 

Remember, this is not just a one-time talk but an ongoing conversation. 

Younger children will want just the facts. Tweens and teens may have more complex questions about sex, relationships, pregnancy and birth. Being open to discussing these topics helps them feel supported in their learning. 

So how do you bring up the subject? One way is to take advantage of “teachable moments.” These are events in our everyday lives that open the doors to initiating a timely conversation. 

For example, if your daughter sees a baby boy’s diaper being changed, or your son notices differences between his body and his sister’s, you can start a talk about parts of the body. You can explain how boys and girls are different.  

Don’t worry that talking to your kids about sex will make them go out and experiment. This has not proven to be true. 

Parents should not be afraid to teach their children the correct names for body parts from the start either. For example, use “penis” instead of using slang or a nickname. 

Why is this important? First, it eliminates confusion. A child might learn a nickname only to later find out there is a proper name for it. Learning the proper names encourages children to view their body parts with healthy respect. It also makes them feel more comfortable discussing their bodies. 

Storytelling can help parents explain to young children where babies come from. Kids enjoy stories they can relate to.

Choose books made for young kids to show how babies grow. These books often have bright pictures and gentle words, perfect for little ones. Reading together lets you answer questions as they arise.  

Consider using stories that express love for the arrival of a new family member. These themes help kids see that a new baby is welcomed with love and care. 

Make it a point to teach children which body parts are private. One simple way is to explain that their private parts are the ones covered by their bathing suit. 

Children need to learn what is socially appropriate and what is not. Explain that no one, not even close friends or family, should be allowed to touch their private parts. The only exceptions are doctors and nurses during check-ups, and parents in case they need to find out why their child is experiencing pain or discomfort in their private area.

“Explain to your kids that it is not okay for anyone else to see or touch their private parts,” Dr. Wilson says. “Let them know that if someone does try to touch their private parts, they need to tell someone.” 

While a “trusted adult” is a common choice, many young children may not understand that concept. Sadly, a “trusted adult” may have been the one who tried to touch them.  

“Reassure your child that he or she can tell you anything, no matter what,” Dr. Wilson says. “Or designate a family member or friend to be the person that your child should go to if anything happens.” 

Unfortunately, it is common for kids to get the wrong information from their friends at school or the soccer field. Say your child comes home and shares some inaccurate news he or she heard about where babies come from. Don’t panic. 

“First, ask where they heard the information and who else knows this, so that you can alert other families if necessary. Second, ask what they think about what they heard,” says Dr. Wilson. “This gives them a chance to explain what they understood and opens the door for you to initiate further conversation and share the facts.” 

If what your child heard is correct but doesn’t align with your family values, let him or her know that your family does not agree. This is a good opportunity to help instill your family’s principles and morals in your child. 

Above all, you want to teach children a healthy appreciation for their bodies and build a foundation for future conversations.